


Finding Me, Finding You

by noonaofdarkness



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7827412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noonaofdarkness/pseuds/noonaofdarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun takes an internship in Paris for six months, Chanyeol stays in Korea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Me, Finding You

* * *

  
"Passport?"

"Check!"

"All five suitcases?"

"Check."

"Your neck pillow?"

"Check."

"A kiss for your handsome boyfriend?"

Baekhyun gave a shy smile as he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Chanyeol's lips. In any other circumstance, Chanyeol wouldn't have asked for this kind of PDA in front of Korea's busiest airport, but he thought he could be a little selfish today.

With a mix of anticipation and dread, the couple had been planning for this day for several months. Baekhyun was leaving for Paris, and Chanyeol was doing everything in his power to stop himself from begging him to forgo his internship and stay with him: to stay in his comfortable apartment, cuddled on the couch they only just picked out together, watching old horror movies and avoiding being responsible adults.

However, Chanyeol knew better. This internship was Baekhyun's dream and being offered an internship in Paris post-grad was not something he could pass up.

As Baekhyun made his way to the ticket counter (Chanyeol pouting while rolling the luggage cart behind), Chanyeol couldn't help but feel that everything about their relationship was about to change, despite Baekhyun's reassurances. To distract himself, he tried to take in every detail of Baekhyun, hoping it would satiate him for the next six months. From his dirty blond, flawlessly styled hair, to his curved hips, perfect butt, full thighs and even his 'cute' feet.

(Baekhyun had once inquired if perhaps Chanyeol had a foot fetish. Chanyeol simply chuckled, 'I think every part of you is cute, Bakehyun. Even your chubby little toes.' and then he proceeded to press a kiss to each and every one.)

"Please don't pout like a puppy, Chanyeol. It only makes this harder." Baekhyun pleaded, turning towards Chanyeol, successfully pulling him back to the present and to the dreaded goodbye that was lurking about 200 feet ahead. "Wait," Baekhyun continued after giving Chanyeol a once over and raising his eyebrow, "were you looking at my ass?"

Chanyeol smirked, "I need all the images I can get. Six months is too long."

Baekhyun strutted towards Chanyeol, making a show of the sway of his hips. He got impossibly close before rising on his toes and whispering in Chanyeol's ear.

"Two Words Park: Skype. Sex."

He then pulled away with a smirk of his own as he took both of Chanyeol's hands and looked him directly in the eyes. For the first time that morning, Chanyeol could finally see Baekhyun was just as upset about their separation as he was. Baekhyun's occasionally dark lined eyes, this morning, were lined instead with the faintest hint of moisture.

"I'm going to miss you so much, you know that right?" Baekhyun mumbled, barely audibly as he buried his head in Chanyeol's chest.

"Of course."

"And you know I love you?"

"I wouldn't ever doubt that, Baekhyun."

"And I'll call you as soon as I land, and we'll Skype all the time and kakao talk and - " Baekhyun's breath hitched as his sentence was cut short by his own emotions. Chanyeol wasn't one for crying , but he knew if Bakehyun began to cry in front of him, he wouldn't be able to stop himself. So he did the only thing he could think of and pulled Baekhyun's face up, fingers under his chin, before leaning in to capture Baekhyun's lips. The kiss was different from their usual kisses, neither raging with lust nor chaste and affectionate: it was bittersweet as he moved his lips against his boyfriend's, slowly, trying to convey every ounce of longing and love he could before forgoing those lips for six long months. Baekhyun's arms rested around Chanyeol's neck as his hands rubbed comforting circles on Baekhyun's hips.

When they pulled apart a minute later, much to the relief of passersby, Chanyeol rested his forehead against Baekhyun's.

"I love you Baek. I want you to enjoy Paris. Of course I'm going to miss you," if only he could honestly tell Baekhyun how much without making him feel guilty. "I'll always be there when you can talk and I'll definitely be here when you get back."

"I love you, Chanyeol." Baekhyun said before kissing him once again.

As far as sappy air-port goodbyes go, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were giving the movies a run for their money. They slowly parted, Baekhyun keeping his eyes closed to linger in the afterglow, before meeting Chanyeol's eyes and the pair let out a light chuckle. Not the happy kind, but the kind that comes out when there is nothing happy to say.

"I think you have a plane to catch," Chanyeol teased as he turned the cart towards baggage check.

Once the luggage was loaded, Baekhyun took Chanyeol's hand as they slowly proceeded to security, weaving through the masses of travelers. All too soon, it was time for Baekhyun to release Chanyeol's hand and enter the line with the rest of the travelers. Instead, Baekhyun's grip tightened.

"Tell me again why I'm doing this?" Baekhyun asked, turning once against to face Chanyeol, anxiety evident in his features.

"Because this is something you've wanted forever. It's the opportunity of a lifetime and when you get back I'm never letting you leave the country for an extended period of time ever again. So you better make the most of it," Chanyeol gave his rehearsed encouragement.

Baekhyun pulled a soft smile and nodded in agreement, "That doesn't make it any easier." What lingered in the words unsaid was the uncertainty of their relationship once Bakehyun crossed the rope divider.

They had had this conversation several times already. It was a unanimous agreement to stay together despite the distance. After all, a two and a half year relationship was bound to have a test eventually and neither one would ever want to hold the other back. Regardless, Baekhyun was right, no rational conversation could make this any easier.

"I'll be here, waiting for you to come back. You don't have to worry, we'll be okay." Chanyeol's reassurances were superficial, but it was the best he could do.

"I'll call you when I land."

"I know."

With that, Baekhyun kissed Chanyeol one last time before pulling away, releasing his hand as he took a step back.

"Bye Baekhyun, see you soon!" Chanyeol waved enthusiastically. Baekhyun laughed at Chanyeol's efforts to lighten the mood and somehow stumbled over his own feet.

"I love you Park Chanyeol!" He shouted with a smile before winding his way to the ticket agent, who raised his eyebrow in confusion.

Chanyeol's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. (but he was a little proud that the hottie in skinny jeans just professed his love for him publicly. His brain did a small victory dance). Before Baekhyun crossed into the threshold of security, and beyond Chanyeol's range of vision, he gave one last wave complete with his signature grin. Chanyeol mouthed a “fighting!" with a curled fist and then Baekhyun was completely gone.

Chanyeol remained at the edge of the security check point for several minutes, allowing it all to sink in. He was heading back to his life, and for the first time in over two years, there would be no Baekhyun to kiss goodnight.

 

 

\------

 

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun met the winter of their sophomore year of university at a birthday party of a mutual hyung, Minseok. They were both seeing other people at the time, but couldn't resist forming a friendship after Baekhyun was the only person at the table who understood Chanyeol's Zombieland reference.

Baekhyun was lively, with the prettiest smile Chanyeol had ever seen and his laugh, oh his laugh, made Chanyeol feel like he was sixteen again with a colony of butterflies fluttering around his stomach. Sometimes, he embarrassed himself. Which is exactly what he did as he told a story about his music class a little too enthusiastically and knocked his hand into his drink, spilling it all over Baekhyun's [most likely designer] shirt. Chanyeol gaped at him in apologetic shock until Baekhyun burst into laughter.

"Control your limbs there, happy virus. I would like to still have a wardrobe after knowing you for a month!"

They later exchanged numbers casually, both making clear that they were currently committed, and parted ways with the promise of hanging out soon. The texting began that night, and never seemed to stop.

 

 

'Friendship', however, proved more difficult than anticipated.

Chanyeol knew Baekhyun was attractive from the start. His eyeliner was perfect, as were his skinny jeans and slightly feminine curves. Any man would be lucky to have him, and Chanyeol assumed that Baekhyun could never be interested in the engineering major beyond friendship. Yet, the more time they spent together, the more their 'hanging out' sessions started to look like dates. Texts went from conversational to flirty. Teasing punches and shoves transitioned to lingering touches and Chanyeol started drowning in everything that was Byun Baekhyun.

Despite Chanyeol's seeming contentment with his boyfriend, every little thing Baekhyun did made him fall a little harder for the petite fashion major. Chanyeol believed you should never be in a relationship if there are doubts, so he did the only thing he could think and called it off with Kris, before he did anything he would regret.

In order to give himself some space, (and to avoid confessing to a taken man immediately after a break up), he blew off Baekhyun for a month.

Operation ‘Avoid Byun Baekhyun’ went relatively well (according to Chanyeol at least. If you ask Kim Jongin, his best friend, you will get a completely different summary)….. until Baekhyun stormed into the University library where Chanyeol had his work study.

"Park Chanyeol!"

Chanyeol looked up confusedly from the stack of books he was [pretending to be] sorting. Baekhyun stomped towards him, eyes determined and furious. As he took his final step to the counter, he reached his arm across and grabbed Chanyeol abruptly by the collar, pulling him forward until their lips were smashed together. Chanyeol pulled back with a perplexed look on his face.

"The past month has been hell and I have no idea what I'm doing but I've already sacrificed two shirts and a relationship just to be around you so you better be worth it, you idiot."

The rest, really, was history.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

 

Chanyeol returned to his shared apartment with Jongin, who was currently curled up on the couch watching Pororo. (It's not a kid show! It is educational and relaxing!)

"So…. are you okay?"

Chanyeol plopped onto the couch next to his best friend, still in a fog.

"I'm fine, just, coming to terms with it, you know?"

"Yeah man, it's weird thinking we won't have the little bacon strip around. You might go back to being quiet and awkward and investing all your time in League of Legends…. Well, I guess the awkward never really went away but at least he kept you sort of socially functional."

"Thanks," Chanyeol replied dryly. He knew Jongin was just teasing, but he couldn't help but wonder what he would be without Baekhyun around.

"Don't get me wrong, Chanyeol. You're your own person, he just sort of…. brought life into you, you know?"

"I know what you mean. I'm going to go nap for a bit. Long morning." And with that Chanyeol disappeared into his darkened bedroom.

 

Eleven hours later, as he was immersing himself in a LoL match (He blamed Jongin for giving him the idea), his phone rang.

"Hello?"

_"Chanyeol! I landed. I'm actually in a cab. Oh my god I need to sleep. What are you still doing up? Are you playing League of Legends again?"_

….Okay, so maybe Jongin had a point.

Chanyeol smiled into the device, "Perhaps, but I'd rather be skyping you. You'll show me around your room once you get settled, right?"

_"Of course. Who else would I share it with?"_

"Kyungsoo, your parents, I don't know, everyone?"

_"Ah yes. Well_ 'everyone' _will see the pictures on Facebook._ You'll _get the personal tour."_ Chanyeol heard Baekhyun heartily yawn.

"Are you sure you're an adequate tour guide?"

_"I know my way around a bedroom. You should know that better than anyone."_ Chanyeol could practically hear Baekhyun's teasing smirk, accompanied with a wink.

"Alright, one ticket for the Baekhyun bedroom tour. But, you should rest, Baek."

_"Just keep me company until I get to my apartment? Please?”_

"Okay."

Chanyeol remained on the line as Baekhyun gave him a sleepy verbal tour of Paris, laughing encouragingly at his almost delirious excitement. Everything was new to Baekhyun, the novelty of seeing little pastry shops and the awe inspiring landmarks that dotted his journey from the airport to his apartment. The conversation ended with the mandatory 'I love yous' and promises to Skype in the following day.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

After the infamous library kiss incident, Chanyeol and Baekhyun fell into sync with one another. They couldn't quite say the same for Jongin and Kyungsoo, their respective best friends.

"Hey shortie, I know I'm attractive, but no need to go all cartoon eyes on me."

"This is just my face, you tan fucktard."

Essentially, Jongin had a huge ego and an aptitude for teasing remarks, while Kyungsoo had zero patience and a swearing problem. It was a match made in heaven, according to Baekhyun, they just couldn't see it yet.

("Imagine all the angry sex!" Baekhyun excitedly explained to Chanyeol.

"I'd really rather not.")

 

 

 

\-----------

 

 

 

"What am I even doing here? I don't speak French!"

Chanyeol smiled into hip laptop's camera, "Baek, you took french all four years of college. You've got this."

"I just, ugh. It's so hard to think in Korean and speak in French. My boss must think I'm nuts. What would you even call the language that comes out of my mouth, Korench?" A pixilated and laggy Baekhyun shoved is face into his palms.

His room was small, the walls almost seemed green with age. There was a small desk in the corner, a closet Baekhyun told Chanyeol wasn’t ‘nearly large enough,’ and a small twin bed complete with the ugliest quilt Chanyeol had ever laid eyes on. Baekhyun, however, was over the moon with his quaint living space, saying it had a certain ‘french charm’ that couldn’t be found anywhere else.

"Relax, Beak. I'm sure you're doing great. You weren't top of your class for nothing."

"Grades mean nothing in the real world, Chanyeol! Nothing. Oh, but I did make a new friend!" Bakehyun continued cheerily. "His name is Luhan. He's Chinese, but he lived in Korea for school or something and now he's at the internship with me. He's really sweet."

"Does he have a Facebook?"

"Why, are you going to go stalk him?"

"Maybe,” Chanyeol gave a noncommittal shrug.

"Let me see,” Baekhyun said mindlessly, as the lighting on his face got brighter, indicating he had opened his web browser.

Almost immediately, a link appeared under the video chat window.

"Holy shit, is he like twelve?" Chanyeol looked on at the doe-eyed model-esque creature in the tiny square (damn, private profiles).

"Very funny, Chan. Actually he's my hyung."

"His hair is so pink."

"It's not pink! It's more salmon…. a very florescent salmon color."

"That's sooo much better," Chanyeol taunted.

"Shut up Chanyeol. Besides, you're one to talk, baby face. And I seem to recall a rather orange perm a couple of years ago…."

"I stand by the perm, no matter what society says. I can't help that my face doesn't match my voice. But seriously, this hyung of yours is pretty. Too pretty. "

"Jealous?"

Chanyeol pouted. Baekhyun smiled and moved closer to the camera.

"Don't be. I like 'em tall and bow-legged with deep voices and unruly hair. Besides, he has some jail-bait boyfriend back in Korea."

"Makes sense, he looks like jail-bait himself."

"Be nice, Channie. Or no Skype sex for you." Bakehyun wagged a pointed finger for emphasis.

Chanyeol immediately straightened up and raised his palm. "I pledge to not tease this Luhan hyung too much, or else I will lose all privileges to seeing my favorite Baek-bum all naked and inappropriate on my laptop screen."

"Wow, so convincing. Could you make it sound more romantic at least?"

"Sorry babe, it's hard to think of Skype sex as romantic."

"We haven't even tried it yet, so you don't know."

"Let's change that, why don't we?"

Baekhyun raised his eyebrows before moving to lock his bedroom door.

 

Chanyeol emerged from his room two hours later in a daze.

"Dude, it's three am and you look like you just saw a ghost. What the hell happened to you?"

"Skype…. Sex….. Whoa."

"Christ man, I don't need to know about that!" Jongin scrunched his nose while dramatically flailing his arms.

Chanyeol continued to stumble towards kitchen. He returned and took his seat next to Jongin on the new black leather couch he and Baekhyun had recently chosen for Chanyeol’s apartment (‘We’ll steal it when we move in together anyway, so I get a say in this!’)

"Well, was it better than you thought? I know you weren't too keen on it before."

"It was… something." Truthfully Chanyeol had no idea he could get off so enthusiastically to Baekhyun touching himself on a screen. But there was something in the way he looked so helpless and whined for Chanyeol even though it was his own hand doing the work. In short, it was amazing. Real touching was better, but that was pretty fucking awesome.

"Good. Now I never want to hear about it again."

"Deal. What are you still doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. Thought about going out, but then there was a walking dead marathon on and I got distracted."

"Putting that dance degree to good use I see."

"Shut it, math boy. I have a day job so that I can be this lazy at home. You're no different."

"Fair point."

 

 

 

\------------

 

 

 

Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun lived in the dorms for most of the first year of their relationship. Straight from the get go, they had trouble keeping their hands off each other. Sometimes it was sweet, sometimes it was a bit more aggressive.

The first time they went all the way, a couple of weeks into the relationship, Kyunsoo came barging in half way through ranting about his Botany professor.

"Stupid Professor Lee, NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE FUCKING PL--- OH MY FUCKING GOD. Ew. WHY. Limbs everywhere. Oh. Gross. Please. Rescue me. God."

And with that, he turned, hand still covering his eyes and walked directly into the door frame. As soon as the door slammed shut (echoes of "Mother fucking exhibitionists!" ringing throughout he hallway), Baekhyun shrugged and pulled a panicked Chanyeol back down to rejoin their lips.

Chanyeol and Jongin moved into an apartment the following semester with individual bedrooms.

The only kind thing Kyungsoo had ever said to Jongin was "Thank you" after they announced they had signed a lease.

 

 

 

\-------------

 

 

**From: ByunBaek**  
Hey Channie! Busy day today. Luhan and I are going out tonight, so I don't know if I'll be able to Skype. But I love you! Miss you!!! xoxo.

 

**To: ByunBaek**  
Have fun! Let me know when you get back. I might be up! I love you too.

 

Baekhyun did let him know when he got back. Chanyeol had to leave for work in half an hour, but he figured he could spare 25 minutes for Baekhyun.

"Hey Baek. How was your night?"

"Chanyeooollll! I had soooo much funnn. Luhan can really dance, did you know that? And the drinks were- " he stopped to hiccup, losing his train of thought. "But I missed you. My handsome puppy." His eyeliner was slightly smudged and hair tousled in all directions as he stared affectionately at the screen.

"I take it you're drunk?" Chanyeol prodded.

"A little." Baekhyun smiled sheepishly. "But I really did miss you. Don't you have to leave for work soon?"

"Yeah, but I just wanted to see your face. I miss waking up next to you."

"So cheesy." Baekhyun clicked his tongue, smiling nonetheless.

"You love it."

_"I love _you_." _

 

 

\----------

 

 

 

Chanyeol was the one who said 'I love you' first.

It was nearing the end of semester. Chanyeol had been holed up in the library studying for his mechanical engineering exam while Bakehyun had been in studio. When they found time to sleep, they tried to do it together, but finals were definitely decreasing their couple time.

Once again, Chanyeol was startled from his stack of books as a determined Baekhyun charged into the library. Charging through the library had become Baekhyun’s forte since dating Park Chanyeol.

"Hey" Chanyeol greeted with confusion. "Looking for something?"

"Yeah, you." Baekhyun said seriously.

"Oh. Why? Aren't you working?"

"I need a break. You need a break. We need a break."

Blame his finals-fried mind, but Chanyeol was blind-sided. Was Baekhyun suggesting they break up? He thought everything was going well. He tried to hide his hurt as he turned away from Baekhyun.

"Oh, um. I mean, if that's what you want. I guess I could understand, I'm not really that exciting. Especially during finals. But… um, did I do something wrong?"

"What the hell are you talking about Park Chanyeol?"

"You want us to take a break?"

Realization hit Baekhyun. "A coffee break, idiot." After lightly shoving Chanyeol’s forehead, Baekhyun burst into laughter, his other hand grubbing the edge of the library table for support.

Relief flooded Chanyeol's face before he looked away and ran his hand across the back of his own neck in sheer embarrassment. "Oh."

"So, coffee?" Baekhyun asked with his renewed perky tone and an outstretched hand.

"That would be wonderful."

 

They arrived at the campus coffee house ten minutes later, hand in hand. After getting their drinks and finding a table, Baekhyun turned his full attention to Chanyeol.

"Why the hell did you think I was breaking up with you?" He asked before taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

"I honestly don't know. It just seemed like the logical conclusion after you said 'break' three times in a row."

"But why?"

"I haven't seen you much the past couple of weeks and I'm not exactly the coolest guy on the planet, I’m not even sure I speak Korean anymore after all the studying I’ve been doing… I …. I don't know. I just thought maybe you finally realized I'm kind of a loser?" He wasn't really sure where all his self doubt was coming from, it never seemed to be a problem before, but it surfaced nonetheless.

"For an engineering major, you sure are dumb."

Chanyeol cocked his head to the side, signaling Baekhyun to continue.

"You're funny, and handsome and you make me happy. There are a million other things I enjoy about you. Please don't ever doubt that I want to be with you, Chanyeol."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Baekhyun reached for his hand across the table, "I know we don't like to bring up our past, but you know I left my ex almost as soon as I met you. In one night you managed to totally eclipse every emotion I felt toward him. I wasn't searching for something new because I wanted to give it a go, or because I was bored. I wanted you. I still want you. That's all there is to it."

"Uhm… thanks?"

"That's all you have to say? I just poured my heart out to you and you say 'thanks'?" Baekhyun joked. "Stupid engineering majors." He then leaned across the table and placed a sweet kiss to Chanyeol's lips. He tasted like chocolate and Chanyeol temporarily lost his mind.

"I like you a lot, Park Chanyeol."

Before Baekhyun was ten centimeters away, Chanyeol mumbled, "I love you too."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he screwed his eyes shut in mortification. Baekhyun hadn't told him he _loved him_ , he had said he _liked him a lot_ and Chanyeol had to be all caught up in the moment and let his feelings run wild.

With his eyes still shut, he heard Baekhyun whisper, "You… what?" The voice, still very close to his face, sounded vulnerable, almost concerned.

When he opened his eyes, there was Baekhyun: his wide eyes twinkling with an emotion Chanyeol hadn't seen before, his lips pursed curiously as rose began to spread across his cheeks.

"I…. love you?"

There was a pause before Baekhyun's lips began to slowly curve into a smile.

"You sure about that?" The emotions were still whirling in Baekhyun's eyes, but now Chanyeol could see mischief rising as well.

He had already tied the noose around his neck, he may as well kick the chair out from under himself.

"Yes. I love you, Baekhyun." He uttered with more confidence.

Baekhyun's soft smile soon turned into a full grin with his eyes disappearing into happy crescents.

"Good, because I think I love you too."

"Just 'think' you do?"

"I love you too, Park Chanyeol."

Coffee was quickly forgotten as Chanyeol preferred to taste the hot chocolate from Baekhyun's lips.

 

 

 

\------------

 

 

 

At 5am Chanyeol was stirred from sleep by his cell phone, which meant one very special person was calling.

"Hello?" He tried not to sound irritated. He wasn't exactly a morning person.

_"Hey."_

"What's up babe?"

_"Just calling 'cause I had a minute to spare. I miss you."_

"I miss you too."

_"Listen, Luhan wants to go out tomorrow tonight, so that's tonight your time…. anyway, there's this really cool club he heard about. Afterward we're going to someone's flat and we'll probably get to talking. You know, bourgeois discussions over clove cigarettes and wine. Cliche European shit….. So I probably won't make our Skype date."_

"Um, okay. That's fine. Let me know when we can reschedule." Chanyeol wondered when their relationship had become a schedule and when ‘cliche European shit’ became something Baekhyun enjoyed. “And text me, of course.”

_"I will. Oh, Luhan's here. I gotta go! Love you!"_

"Love you too." Before the last word left his mouth, Baekhyun had already hung up.

 

 

Chanyeol returned home from work a few days later to find a surprise guest sitting in his usual spot on the couch.

"Kyungsoo?"

Said owl-faced boy turned towards Chanyeol.

"You know Baekhyun is in Paris right now, right?"

"I'm not an idiot, Park. I thought I would stop by and see how you two were holding up."

"Us two?" Jongin chimed in as he emerged from the kitchen, “Good one, Babysoo. We all know if you saw me bleeding out in the road, you would walk right by. It's okay to say you're just here for Chanyeol." He then grabbed the controller and began flipping through channels.

"Look here, kkamjong. Baekhyun is my best friend. Beakhyun is gone. I am kind of… lonely and you two are the closest things to secondary friends I have." The 'lonely' bit was mumbled, in the hopes that it wouldn't be heard.

"Hear that, Chanyeol? We're _almost_ secondary friends to Kyungsoo!"

"Shut up, Jongin,” Chanyeol reprimanded before turning back to their visitor, “It's okay to hang out here, Kyungsoo. You're more than welcome. I miss him too."

"It's not like anyone died," Jongin remarked bitterly under his breath. "You two are acting like he won't ever come back, or like you never talk to him."

"I barely do!" Kyungsoo piped up. "He's always busy and I understand but it's hard without your best friend, okay? What would you do if Chanyeol suddenly left?"

"Watch pororo all the time and never wear clothes in the apartment."

"You watch Pororo naked?" Kyungsoo scoffed.

"Not the point. Although, I prefer to dance naked around the apartment, Chanyeol is oddly particular about genitalia coming into contact with the couch…. Jesus, Soo, your eyes are so big right now. You look like you just gave a surprise blow job or something."

"Everything you do disgusts me, Kim Jongin. Although Pororo does win you some points."

Chanyeol followed the conversation from the doorway, watching the two closely. Maybe Baekhyun was right about them.

Jongin turned to Kyungsoo. "Points? I’m losing my touch.”

.... maybe not.

 

 

————---------

 

 

To say things were going great the past few weeks would be a lie. They still talked, of course. If Baekhyun suddenly dropped off the face of the planet, rest assured Chanyeol would hop on a plane to Paris (even though he was really scared of flying). Chanyeol couldn't pinpoint exactly what was missing.

Baekhyun still texted him multiple times a day saying "Love You!" or "Thinking of you <3" (After one particularly wild night out, he sent Chanyeol "Horny 4 u only" which Chanyeol immediately screen capped for blackmailing purposes in the future.)

Chanyeol wondered if it was just his inability to feel intimacy through words on a screen.

Then there was Luhan. It was great that Baekhyun had found a friend he could spend time with, but everything had become Luhan this and Luhan that. Chanyeol couldn't give two shits about Luhan, he cared about Baekhyun. Baekhyun barely had time to talk about the work he was supposedly doing that he was passionate about. Instead he had stories about their trips to the clubs and their raging nights out.

He'd canceled three Skype dates in a row, and Chanyeol began to wonder if this was something he was going to have to get used to over the next four and half months.

 

**From: ByunBaek**  
Hey babe! I'll be a little late tonight, so I'll text you when I get in, okay?

 

Since Chanyeol had some time to kill, he thought he'd be a good friend and pick up a pizza on his way home from work so he and Jongin could enjoy an uneventful Friday together. As he balanced the box on his arm and turned the key to the front door, he could faintly hear Kyungsoo swearing. He laughed to himself. If he didn't know any better, he was beginning to think Kyungsoo and Jongin were starting to enjoy each other's company.

As he swung the door open, he realized exactly how much they were enjoying each other.

There, on his sacred couch, was Jongin being positively wrecked by none other than Do Kyungsoo.

The pizza box fell to the ground as Chanyeol struggled to close his eyes and the door.

"MY PRECIOUS COUCH! Wait…. JONGIN, YOU BOTTOM?!" Probably not the best way to make his presence known, but he had trouble with the mind to mouth filter.

"OH GOD - CHANYEOL? NO - I DON'T - I MEAN NOT REGULARLY BUT…. OH MY _GOD_ GET OUT!" Jongin's voice was desperate as Kyungsoo let out a maniacal chuckle.

"Revenge is sweet, Park. Now if you could please exit, I would like to finish what I've started." Kyungsoo's tone was unwavering, and from what Chanyeol could make out (not that he wanted to, ever) so were his thrusts.

He quickly turned himself around, leaving the pizza box on the floor by the door.

"Baekhyun totally called this," Chanyeol mumbled to himself as he proceeded to exit the apartment. With that he pulled out his phone.

 

**To: ByunBaek**  
PLEASE CONTROL YOUR EVIL BEST FRIEND. MY COUCH HAS BECOME A CASUALTY IN HIS PLOT FOR REVENGE.

**From: ByunBaek**  
Soo never plays fair ^.- Tell me all about it later. I need details to taunt him with, but I'm at work right now.

 

 

\-------

Each relationship has its own special moments, Chanyeol believed. For some it was meeting the parents, or the first kiss, or the first time they actually ‘made love’ and didn’t just have sex — Chanyeol valued all of those moments with Baekhyun — yet his favorite times with Baekhyun were the private moments any outsider may have found mundane. Those moments where it was just the two of them, learning everything about each other. Those moments where Baekhyun’s smile was the only thing he could see in the entire room. The silences were never awkward, just comfortable. He adored the little lulls in the hustle and bustle of college life, where his mind was filled with Byun Baekhyun where nothing else seemed to matter.

During one weekend visit to the Park’s (although his parent’s assumed the nature of the relationship, they decidedly did not ask the boys to elaborate on it), Chanyeol was curled up on his bed, completing an assignment before dinner while Baekhyun explored the already familiar room, opening drawers, reading through his high school notebooks, criticizing the remnants of his high school wardrobe in the closet. Chanyeol was half listening to Baekhyun’s judgmental narration of his former living space when Baekhyun suddenly let a squeal that put small children to shame.

“Oh. My. GOD. CHANYEOL. WHAT IS THIS?” Baekhyun held up a small picture, one Chanyeol could recognize in a flash. The simple green background and his chubby, bespectacled form in the center, holding his childhood companion, a ferret named Slinky. He knew it was hopeless to try and pry the picture from Bakehyun’s hands so instead he groaned loudly, throwing his face into his palms in embarrassment.

Baekhyun was in hysterics now, oscillating between cooing at the embarrassing childhood photo and gasping for air from laughing so hard.

After what felt like an eternity, Baekhyun nudged Chanyeol’s shoulder with his fist, instructing him to make room on the bed for him.

“So…. are you going to explain this or am I going to have to draw my own conclusions?”

More groans emitted from the lump that was Chanyeol. Baekhyun might have felt a little bad for teasing him so harshly, Chanyeol could tell by the arm thrown over his shoulder. In truth, he wasn’t that embarrassed, because he could see (or rather, hear) how much joy the stupid little photo brought Baekhyun.

“I’m sorry for laughing. I think it’s really cute. Really!”

Chanyeol removed his head from his hands and inspected Baekhyun’s face, “When I was little I kind of maybe had an obsession with ferrets?” Chanyeol even began to smile thinking about how ridiculous it all was. “I also was a little chubby and wore glasses.”

“You were adorable. What was the ferret’s name?” Baekhyun’s eyes remained glued to the small photo.

“Slinky. He was my favorite. Died when I was fourteen. I didn’t go to school for a week.”

Baekhyun smirked but curled up closer to Chanyeol, running his fingers through his hair “Poor baby.”

Chanyeol scoffed, but leaned into Baekhyun’s touch regardless.

“Can I keep this?” Baekhyun asked with hopeful eyes. Stroking the delicate fingers of his free hand over Chanyeol’s chubby childhood form in the photo.

Chanyeol shyly nodded his head in agreement and watched as Baekhyun’s face lit up. Baekhyun set the photo on the nightstand and pulled Chanyeol into a full hug, shoving his laptop to the end of the bed as he laid them down, limbs intertwined. His hand returned to Chanyeol’s scalp, slowly combing through the hair.

“So…. Mr Park, what other deep dark childhood secrets don’t I know about?”

 

 

 

———-----------

 

 

 

In all honestly, Chanyeol was having a shit time at his new job. He enjoyed engineering, don’t get him wrong, but the hours were horrible and everyone in the office aside from his supervisor Joonmyun liked to ignore his entire existence unless they were assigning him more work. He was the newest cog in the machine and had little to no respect nor duties beyond running errands for the higher ups. This wasn’t what he imagined when he graduated with honors and was hired almost immediately by a firm.

He missed the days when he could go to Baekhyun and bitch about his day, or simply be distracted by his boyfriend. Baekhyun would run his fingers through Chanyeol’s tangled locks and distract him from the everyday. Of course those small touches would frequently lead to other things… which were probably Chanyeol’s most welcomed distraction.

Sometimes he would send Baekhyun texts saying how tired he was of work, even self deprecating stories of how he spilled his coffee all over his shirt before he was even fully settled at his desk in the morning. But after a while Baekhyun’s only response became some variation ‘I’m sorry! That sucks >.<‘ Needless to say, Baekhyun wasn’t providing the comfort he once did to make the day to day more tolerable.

The thing that kept him going, aside from Pizza Friday with Jongin (which had now been cruelly disrespected, on his own couch), was knowing that he would Skype Baekhyun every other evening. As of late, however, Baekhyun had been busy and missing Skype times left and right. Baekhyun was ‘enjoying Paris’ and ‘making the most of the experience’ which was not something Chanyeol could contend with. That didn’t stop him from feeling a little neglected.

“I haven’t had Skype sex in a month, Jongin. A. Month.” Chanyeol exasperatedly announced as he joined Jongin on the couch.

“It’s okay buddy.” Jongin’s attempts at comforting were almost as pitiful as Chanyeol had become, “You guys still talk all the time.”

“Sure, he sends me texts all the time, but whenever I really try to talk to him, just tell him about what’s going on in my life he gets distracted, bored even. I kind of gave up on sharing much with him, since it seemed to only dull the mood. You talk to Kyungsoo more than I talk to Baek lately. There is definitely something wrong there.”

Chanyeol watched as Jongin blushed. _Blushed_ at the mention of Kyungsoo.

“Sorry about that, by the way. It just sort of… happened?” Jongin tried, cheeks now fully scarlet.

“At least I can tease you about it for the rest of your life.” Chanyeol began to smile again, watching how embarrassed Jongin was becoming. He welcomed the light turn the conversation had taken, away from his relationship woes and into the teasing Jongin territory he loved so much.

“I think… I wouldn’t mind it happening again.” Jongin said, almost in a whisper as he looked at his own hands.

“Don’t tell me you’ve grown a soft spot for the spawn of satan? Or should a say a hard spot?”

Jongin threw his hands up defensively, flinging the remote controller all the way to the center of the living room, choking on his own spit. “Yes! No! I mean…. he’s not…. that… awful?”

“He ruined my couch Jongin. You both ruined my precious couch.” Chanyeol said sternly.

“The couch you’re sitting on right now?” Jongin quirked an eyebrow, eyes shifting between the couch cushions and Chanyeol’s face.

“I was _trying_ not to think about that, idiot.”

Jongin chuckled shyly. Smiling a bit to himself. Chanyeol was still grossed out, but the joy of seeing Jongin act like a little boy with a crush was kind of winning out against his anger over witnessing the event. The boys fell into silence, watching whatever was on TV, both in their own worlds. Chanyeol had a lot on his mind and seeing Jongin’s fledgling relationship with Kyungsoo was making his heart feel strange things. He couldn’t call it jealously just yet, but he couldn’t disregard the hint of envy he felt.

 

 

Later that night, he was awoken by a video message on his phone.

When Baekhyun had first arrived in Paris, he had made a habit of sending picture messages to Chanyeol to narrate his day. Most were selcas with something interesting in the background. Sometimes he sent food, complete with a review of his latest meal. Jongin was right, Baekhyun texted him all the time, but it could hardly be called ‘talking’ or even ‘communicating’ at this point. His narrative picture messages had now been reduced to text only messages that were more of a check in than an update. However, tagged pictures of Baekhyun littered facebook, thanks to Luhan. Sometimes Chanyeol saw the messages as the only confirmation that he was still on Baekhyun’s mind.

He had never sent a video before.

Chanyeol was curious. After the content fully loaded he clicked ‘play’ and watched as Baekhyun filled the screen. He was dancing to Beyonce’s “Baby Boy” complete with body rolls and a seductive smile on his face, looking straight at the camera. He was in an unfamiliar apartment with unfamiliar people scattered around, holding a glass of wine, and dressed to the nines in all black. He looked gorgeous and the movement of his hips was stirring up a heat in Chanyeol’s groin.

_God_ it had been too long since he’d had sex (not that Baekhyun didn’t have this strong of an effect on him everyday regardless).

Chanyeol briefly wondered who was holding the phone when suddenly he watched Baekhyun walk towards the camera and exchange the device with whoever was holding it. Pink hair filled the screen for a brief moment before Luhan’s frame came into view. He was dancing just as seductively as Baekhyun, if not more. Chanyeol grimaced, missing the moments when Baekhyun was the only boy in the video.

The camera moved once again as Baekhyun inched closer to Luhan, holding the phone above their heads as it revealed both their bodies. They began to dance against one another, Luhan’s hand splayed out against Baekhyun’s hip as they rolled their bodies in sync with the music. They were giggling. Baekhyun then buried his face in Luhan’s neck, keeping the camera far above their heads.

Chanyeol wanted to close the video, but sat there half asleep and awestruck. He couldn’t look away.

Finally the video neared its final seconds with Baekhyun looking back towards the camera with bedroom eyes, blowing a kiss and winking at the camera before the screen went black.

“What the hell?” Chanyeol whispered to himself. There was no message to accompany the video, and Chanyeol wanted an explanation. Above all, he would never doubt his trust in Baekhyun. One part of him knew that Baekhyun would never cheat and rub it in his face like that, and that he was a touchy dancer with anyone who was willing to dance with him; however, the image of Luhan’s hand on Baekhyun’s hips and their half lidded eyes as Baekhyun nuzzled the former’s neck stirred a painful feeling of jealousy in his chest.

Chanyeol quickly typed out “What was that?” and sent the message before collapsing back into his pillow, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. For a minute he considered that Baekhyun was changing quickly, moving away from the Baekhyun he sent off on the plane three months ago. A painful realization hit him that the Baekhyun he picks up from the airport could be a complete stranger at this rate.

He waited and waited for a reply, but had no such luck. Any explanation from Baekhyun would be better than silence. Anything to stop his mind from running wild over the smallest of triggers.

The silence was deafening, and after half an hour he gave up and decided to sleep, still clutching his phone with resigned hope.

Sleep wasn’t easy to come by, instead his dreams filled him with unease as he saw Baekhyun on a dance floor, always slipping out of his reach before ending up in someone else’s arms.

 

 

**From: ByunBaek**  
I’ll be out tonight, so no Skype :/  
Sorry babe. I’ll make it up to you, I promise ;)

**To: ByunBaek**  
Really Baekhyun?

**From ByunBaek**  
I’m sorry! I have no plans tomorrow. I’ll get online whenever you want and I’m all yours for as long as you want. I promise!

Chanyeol let out a resigned sigh and typed a response.

**To: ByunBaek**  
Alright. 6:30pm my time tomorrow then. Promise Baek?

**From: ByunBaek**  
Starting at 6:30 I’m all yours. Promise. ^^

 

The following evening, Chanyeol got home from work around 5:45 and made a beeline for his room, giving Jongin and Kyungsoo a nod of acknowledgment as he passed through the living room.

“Please remember to relocate to Jongin’s room when you two get going,” he hollered before shutting his door.

He logged into Skype and decided to surf the net until Baekhyun came online. He was resolved to tell Baekhyun tonight of the neglect he was feeling. More than anything though, he wanted to talk to Baekhyun. Just talk. About anything and everything, he didn’t care. He missed him.

He missed him so much.

The distance was getting to him. He didn’t want to be mad at Baekhyun, he just wanted to support him and know that Baekhyun still cared. No dramatics, just time together like they used to have before Baekhyun became so distant.

Soon it was 6:28 and Baekhyun had yet to be online. Chanyeol pretended to distract himself from the digital time in the upper right hand corner of his laptop, continuing to scroll through Facebook. He could see pictures Luhan had posted of Baekhyun and their wild night out the night previous. Baekhyun looked great as always, smiling like there was no tomorrow. His life was so glamorous, while Chanyeol was sitting in his plain bedroom that vaguely smelled of dirty socks (he would do laundry tomorrow, he decided).

6:28 turned into 6:40 and there was still no sign of Baekhyun.

Chanyeol shot him a quick text that simply read ‘Skype?’ and continued to wait, becoming more and more concerned.

7:05 and the always patient Chanyeol was slowly becoming upset. This little Skype date was all he looked forward to all day. He even turned down an invitation to go out with coworkers that evening, joking that he had ‘big plans’ and earning a knowing wink from Joonmyeon. Yet here he was, in the silence of his room, with only the muffled bickering of Jongin and Kyungsoo from the living room to keep him company.

And yet he continued to wait with hope that maybe Baekhyun just converted the time wrong. He stared at the clock now, not evening bothering to play online.

By 8:30pm his stomach dropped and he knew he had been forgotten. Sure, Baekhyun had cancelled a lot of Skype dates, but this was the first time Baekhyun had flat out disregarded him, and Chanyeol felt like shit.

Shutting his laptop slowly, he blinked a few times before standing, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and exiting his room.

“Where are you headed?” Jongin asked playfully with an arm slung around Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Out.” Chanyeol replied curtly before slamming the door to the apartment.

He needed fresh air and distraction. He needed to not look at the time, and not think about how abandoned he was starting to feel.

Living in Seoul had many benefits, one of them being he didn’t have to travel far to get to a decent bar. Drinking wasn’t normally something Chanyeol would do to forget his troubles, but if Baekhyun’s body was seemingly inhabited by another human as of late, he could grant himself one night of out-of-character indulgence.

He took a seat at the center of the bar, earning the bartender’s attention and ordering a Rum and Coke. He downed it in record time and was ordering a second when an arm curled around his shoulder.

He looked up to see Kris, his handsome ex, peering down at him.

“Drinking alone?” Kris said with a friendly tone, taking the unoccupied seat next to Chanyeol.

“So it would seem. What brings you here?” Chanyeol inquired as the bartender switched out his empty with a fresh drink.

“Stopped by after work. This place is a regular haunt of mine.” Kris was always charming. They parted on good terms, with Kris completely understanding Chanyeol’s pull to Baekhyun. The two stayed in touch here and there, but hadn’t spoken much since Kris graduated the year before Chanyeol.

The conversation took the normal turn for friends catching up, with Chanyeol downing his drinks faster and faster until Kris suggested they order shots instead. “It’ll get you there quicker,” he had teased.

Chanyeol knew it was inevitable when Kris inquired about Baekhyun, simply asking how they were with a hint of trepidation in his voice.

“He’s in Paris. I’m here,” Chanyeol feigned noncholance.

“Is he…. why you’re here tonight then?” Kris asked carefully.

Chanyeol paused for a moment, the room slightly foggier than he remembered it being when he entered the bar, “Something like that.” He could tell Kris was waiting for him to continue, so he obliged, “We had…. well we were _supposed_ to have a Skype date tonight. But he didn’t show.”

“Is that a regular thing?” Kris lifted his shot to cheer with Chanyeol.

After downing the liquid and biting into the lime Chanyeol responded, “No. He’s never flat out forgotten before. But he keeps canceling, sometimes just fifteen minutes beforehand.” He would blame it on the alcohol, but more than anything he needed to vent to someone, “I just feel so…. unimportant. He’s over there doing all these fabulous things and I’m just… an afterthought. Something he gets to when he has time. I’m so excited about everything he’s doing, I want to hear all about it. I want to talk to him, or even just listen to him talk. But you know, I’m doing things too! I have a whole life that I’d like to share with him, if only he’d give me the time of day. But no. He has _Luhan_ to share everything with and I’m just the supposed ‘boyfriend’ he has back home.”

Kris watched intently as Chanyeol became more and more frustrated before giving a him a reassuring pat on the back. “It’s all exciting for him right now Chanyeol. I don’t think you should doubt that he cares. He’s probably just so caught up in all the new things that he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. Have you spoken with him about how you feel?”

Chanyeol groans. “I hint at it. But when I finally get the chance to talk to him the last thing I want to do is end up fighting with him. I just want to be with him.”

“Maybe you should tell him. Be honest. Because, Chanyeol, this isn’t like you.”

Chanyeol looked up in confusion as Kris continued.

“You were always patient and of course doting, but you never let anyone walk all over you. You lived your life, and yes you shared it with Baekhyun, but when did all the joy in your life become dependent on another person?”

Chanyeol was struck by Kris’ honest words. He loved Baekhyun, of course a major part of his enjoyment was found in their companionship, but Kris had a point. A very good point.

“You’re right,” he someone slurred as he rested his head in his palm. “I just…. don’t want to lose him.”

“You can be true to yourself and not lose him. If he’s changed so much that he can’t see he’s hurting you, then what value is there in molding your whole life around him?” Kris sighed, “I don’t know if you want my advice, but I’ll tell you anyway: tell him how you feel. Be honest. If you fight, you fight. He’s probably not doing anything intentionally, but if you don’t communicate with him how will he ever even know he’s hurting you?”

There was that word Chanyeol had grown to hate, _communication_. When had he and Baekhyun really communicated lately? Was there any feeling conveyed in the quick texts they exchanged? All the ‘I love yous’ felt obligatory, not genuine. Chanyeol wondered if he was the only one feeling anything anymore.

“When you left me because of him, you were so happy Chanyeol. I’d never seen you happier and I let you go willingly. But that person is not the same one sitting on the stool next to me tonight. You’re your own person above all, Chanyeol. Think about that.”

Kris continued to pat his back and eventually helped him off his barstool and out of the bar. He walked Chanyeol all the way to his apartment, gingerly depositing him into Jongin’s concerned arms.

Before Chanyeol surrendered to his drunken stupor he checked his phone one last time. Still no word from Baekhyun.

 

 

Chanyeol was brutally awoken from his drunken slumber at 6am by his phone blaring through the silence of his apartment.

“Hello?” He grunted into the device, after he somehow managed to wrangle it and accept the call.

“ _Chanyeol! I’m so sorry! We were out late last night and -_ “

“Baekhyun, I’m sleeping. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” He didn’t want any excuses, not now. He just wanted to sleep and forget. He also knew he would have to puke if he stayed awake any longer.

“ _Sure…. just… tell me when okay? I’ll be there. I promise,_ ” Baekhyun mumbled, sounding almost ashamed.

Despite his best efforts to drift back to sleep, Chanyeol found himself hunched over the toilet fifteen minutes later, bitterly bringing up everything from the previous night.

(not just the contents of his stomach either).

 

 

————-------------

 

 

 

The end of Senior year was an exciting time for both Baekhyun and Chanyeol. While they were anxious about job prospects, they were overjoyed to see their four years of hard work had finally paid off. Yes, they were drowning in student loans, but they had survived. Not only academically, their relationship had also made it this far.

Chanyeol was applying for jobs while Baekhyun was busy filling out applications for grants and internships his department had nominated him for.

_Paris_ , Baekhyun had mentioned once over dinner. It was an honor to be nominated for the internship. He was bursting with pride and Chanyeol was more than willing to share in his joy.

“Of course,” Baekhyun explained, “It’s still a long shot. A lot of people apply and they only accept two international interns each year. But wouldn’t it be amazing, Chanyeol?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol had agreed, watching excitement take over Baekhyun’s features as he grabbed his hand over the dinner table, “It really would.”

 

 

—————---------

 

 

 

Despite his semi-hungover assurance of ‘tomorrow,’ Chanyeol didn’t contact Baekhyun the next day, or the day after. Baekhyun made no attempts to contact him either.

Finally after two days of silence on both ends, Chanyeol reached out to Baekhyun, feeling ready to take Kris’ advice and just talk to Baekhyun.

 

**To: ByunBaek**  
Can we Skype tonight at 8pm my time?

**From: ByunBaek**  
I’ll be there. Love you.

 

Chanyeol didn’t get his hopes up too high as he sat in front of his computer at 7:55pm and logged into Skype. To his surprise, Baekhyun was already logged in and soon he was receiving a video call from his boyfriend.

He pressed accept and watched as Baekhyun’s face filled the screen, smiling shyly. His dirty blond hair was now jet black. A striking change from the Baekhyun who Chanyeol had last seen. He couldn’t help but feel a little put off at the change, regarding it somewhat as a manifestation of Baekhyun’s transformation into an almost stranger.

Baekhyun spoke first.

“Hey,” he said quietly, “I’m really sorry about the other night. I know I promised you, and there isn’t an excuse.”

Chanyeol was silent as Baekhyun went on.

“Honestly…. I stayed out really late the night before and I fell asleep. I didn’t even think to set an alarm. I slept right through everything.” He lightly slapped his palm against his own forehead.

“Oh.” Chanyeol said quietly.

“Yeol,” Baekhyun inquired carefully, “Are you mad at me? I’m really sorry. I swear.”

No. Chanyeol wanted to say. I’d never be mad at you. Lying would mean they could just have a normal conversation, maybe. Without all the tension. But Kris’ words echoed through his head as he looked directly in the camera for the first time. “Baekhyun, do you still want to be with me?”

Baekhyun was taken aback. “Of course!” he promptly responded.

“Are you sure Baekhyun? Because it really doesn’t feel like it on my end.”

“I’ve just been distracted Chanyeol, that’s all. I don’t really have time to plan my life around Skype, you know? Things are so busy.” Baekhyun offered hesitantly, but with the hint of authority he uses when he feels an argument coming on.

Chanyeol didn’t want to be angry, he really didn’t, but it was slowly rising. He felt so…. dismissed.

“See that’s the difference, Baek. To you it’s a Skype date you have to _fit_ into your schedule. To me, it’s the main event of my day. I plan my day around when I can talk to you. I turn down plans with my friends because you say you’ll be there…. and then you aren’t. It hurts Baekhyun.”

“I’m sorry Chanyeol. You know I would never hurt you on purpose. There’s just so much to do here, and I want to make the most of the experience, you know?”

“You could share that with me too. I want to share things with you, Baekhyun. Not experience them secondhand through the pictures Luhan posts of you on Facebook.”

“Why are you bringing Luhan into this, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked defensively but with a hint of warning in his voice.

“Because he’s the only person you seem to have time for lately!” Chanyeol had to stop himself from shouting.

“If you’re jealous of Luhan, then I don’t know what to tell you. He’s my closest friend here. He has a boyfriend for Christ’s sake! If he wasn’t here, do you know how lonely I would be, Chanyeol?”

“Do you know how lonely _I_ am Baekhyun? Do you have any idea?” Chaneyol was crumbling and quickly. It seemed like Baekhyun had a reason for everything. Despite Chanyeol being the engineer, Baekhyun was the most pragmatic between the two of them. Chanyeol was always in awe of his ability to put his feelings aside in order to look at things logically. Sometimes too logically. Tonight though, he wasn’t going to let the emotions of the situation be cast aside in favor of logic. He needed Baekhyun to know how he felt, and know that Baekhyun felt something in return.

Silence overcame the pair for a minute. Baekhyun spoke first.

“You know, this is a once in a lifetime experience for me. As cliched as that sounds. I’m here for six months! Six. With two left now! I only get to do this once, I only get to live in Paris and be free like this one time, and then I have to go back to my boring life in Korea,” Baekhyun said sternly in his frustration.

A pained expression crossed Chanyeol’s face as his heart sunk into his stomach.

“ _Boring?_ ” He whispered with every once of hurt he felt. So that was what Baekhyun thought of their life together in Korea. Their life with their crazy best friends and weekly pizza nights and zombie marathons. All these little things that made Chanyeol’s life eventful were just ‘boring’ to Baekhyun now?

Baekhyun saw the hurt and immediately tried to save himself, “That’s not what I meant Chanyeol! I just mean Paris has so much more to offer in terms of entertainment.”

“It’s all just _boring_ to you, then? Do _I_ bore you?” Chanyeol was on the verge of tears. All those little moments he considered the most important — those mundane little moments of pure peace and happiness — they didn’t mean the same things to Baekhyun.

“No! Chanyeol listen to me! You’re not boring! It’s just, I’m here now. I have time to enjoy myself. Figure out who I am. Find myself, you know?”

That was it. The last straw.

“Bull _shit_ Byun Baekhyun! You know exactly who you are! Or at least you _did_ before you went off to Paris. You don’t need to fucking ‘find yourself’” Chanyeol attempted air quotes while saying the words with disdain, “Who you are is right here, at home with me, Kyungsoo, Jongin, your _family_ , not off in some foreign country getting wasted every night being some kind of glamzaon in fancy clubs!”

Baekhyun was taken aback by the outburst, “You…. you don’t understand Chanyeol.”

“You’re right, I don’t! I don’t even fucking know who you are anymore! You don’t talk to me, or make time for me. Do you even know what’s going on in my life? That Kyungsoo and Jongin are regularly fucking on my precious couch and Joonmyeon wants to offer me a promotion? No, you don’t. Because you’re never around!”

Chanyeol sighed heavily before he continued, much more quietly.

“I’m not asking for you to dedicate all your time abroad to me Baekhyun, I’m not stupid. All I wanted was for you to give me the time of day, and maybe, I don’t know, make me feel like you still love me when you’re thousands of miles away.” His tone turned dark, “Obviously I’m asking for too much.”

Tears were gathering in Baekhyun’s eyes by now, and Chanyeol wasn’t fairing much better, “No, Chanyeol…. that’s not it….”

“Stop Baekhyun. Just stop.” Chanyeol took a deep breath, knowing the impact of the words that were about to fall out of his mouth.

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.” Chanyeol resigned, not daring to look at the shock on Baekhyun’s face.

“Do you mean….?” Baekhyun whispered apprehensively.

Chanyeol shook his head in agreement, gathering his face in his hands and harshly wiping the tears, “I think we should break up. I can’t do this. Go find yourself, or whatever the hell it is you’re doing.”

“Chanyeol, no. Ple-“

“I wish you all the best Baekhyun.”

And with that, Chanyeol shut his laptop. He stared blankly at the wall for a few minutes, possibly hours, before turing out the light and curling up alone in bed.

 

 

——————---------

 

 

The good news came two days after the Graduation ceremony. Chanyeol had already been recruited for a firm near campus. He and Baekhyun were considering going apartment hunting together, but first they needed to hear back on the status of Baekhyun’s internship abroad. So instead they opted for couch shopping.

“Either way,” Baekhyun had justified, “when we move in together, be it a month or six months from now, we’re keeping the couch.”

The couple wandered through the furniture warehouse, pretending that they were shopping for their entire new apartment. Baekhyun tested out every bed, deeming none of them durable enough for their purposes before shooting a wink at Chanyeol, who blushed.

Then, as Chanyeol describes it, the gates of heaven opened up as the crowd before them cleared revealing an elegant black leather couch with silver accents. Chanyeol stopped in his place and stared in awe. It was _perfect_.

“Yeol, what are you doing?” Baekhyun inquired as he wandered up from somewhere behind Chanyeol. Quickly, Baekhyun put two and two together (by following Chanyeol’s eyes to the couch and back again.)

“Ah,” Baekhyun chirped, “So she’s the one?”

Chanyeol could only nod.

“Well then, let’s go test her out.” Bakehyun pulled Chanyeol’s arm and the forced him to plop down on the display couch. Once Chanyeol was fully seated, Baekhyun laid down and curled himself into Chanyeol’s lap, as he would on the couch Chanyeol had back at home currently.

“So, what do you think?” Baekhyun asked.

Chanyeol had yet to say a word, instead he gave a grunt of approval and a smile, before looking down at the adorable ball of Byun Baekhyun he currently had placed in his lap. He had just begun to play with the hairs on Baekhyun’s nape when Baekhyun’s phone went off.

Baekhyun shifted slightly to pull the device out of his pocket, but refused to move from his perch partially on Chanyeol’s lap. Chanyeol smiled to himself, thinking of how silly they must look while having a domestic moment inside a giant furniture store with spectators.

“Hello, this is Baekhyun,” Chanyeol knew it must have been a number Baekhyun didn’t recognize if he was answering the phone so officially.

“Yes…. Oh yes…. hello!” Just like that, Baekhyun was speaking French and Chanyeol actually had no idea what he was saying.

Baekhyun had tried to teach him french once or twice, but he usually ended up laughing at Chanyeol’s expense. When Chanyeol gave up he would start pretending to be the french chef in ‘The Little Mermaid,’ still butchering every word of the song. So instead, Baekhyun decided to teach him the art of french kissing. (Chanyeol thought he already knew everything about that topic, but oh, the things Baekhyun taught him.)

Lost in his own reverie Chaneyol missed that Baekhyun had already ended the phone call and was smiling up at him.

“Who was that?” Chanyeol asked.

“The internship people,” Baekhyun said, moving to sit up cross-legged on the couch in order to face Chanyeol.

“Yeol…. I got it.”

Chanyeol reached across the little distance between them and gathered Baekhyun back into his arms. “I knew you would! This is so exciting!”

“You know this means I’m going to Paris, right?”

“I know.” Chanyeol was still smiling. He was so proud of Baekhyun. All his hard work and now his dreams were coming true. They’d deal with the weight of the separation when the time came.

“I guess that means you’ll have to live with Jongin a little while longer. But then,” Baekhyun moved closer to Chanyeol til their foreheads touched as he whispered, “ _it’s gonna be just you. me. and this couch._ ”

 

And Chanyeol liked the sound of that. He liked it a lot.

 

 

——————--------

 

 

Telling the others about the break-up was easier said than done. Chanyeol couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed just yet, much less explain (without crying) what had happened.

Somewhat luckily, Baekhyun had taken the initiative to tell Kyungsoo two days after it happened. Chanyeol hadn’t left his room by then and was sure Jongin had his suspicions.

That night he heard Jongin and Kyungsoo whispering in the living room.

“Beakhyun said it was over. Chanyeol ended it.” Kyungsoo said forlornly.

“But why?” Jongin asked, slightly upset. Probably ready to charge into Chanyeol’s room and demand an explanation.

“Don’t. do. that.” He could hear Kyungsoo struggle to pull Jongin back down to the couch. “All he would say was that it was ‘his fault’ and not to be mad at Chanyeol. Just…. make sure he’s okay.”

Jongin grunted in agreement before Kyungsoo finished, “Hopefully if we give them space, they’ll work it out.”

“I hope so,” was the last thing Chanyeol heard before he picked up his headphones and turned on his iPod, successfully drowning out their conversation.

 

 

The picture messages started a week after the break-up, once Chanyeol had returned to his everyday routine. Chanyeol had decidedly avoided Skype, but he couldn’t very well cut off contact from the world altogether, and changing his number seemed a bit overdramatic.

Plus, he couldn’t bring himself to delete Baekhyun’s contact information. It didn’t feel right.

The first picture message was a simple view of the sunrise from the window of Baekhyun’s apartment. No caption.

Chanyeol of course looked at it, but didn’t respond. He needed space. Time.

The pictures continued, one a day. There were little things that he knew Baekhyun sent as a way of saying they reminded him of Chanyeol, like the orange haired tourist hanging around the Lourve.

Baekhyun sent them without caption, probably as a means of avoiding upsetting Chanyeol. On some level, Chanyeol knew Baekhyun continued to send the messages as a means of making Chanyeol not forget him. If there was one thing Baekhyun hated, it was the idea of someone not caring about him anymore. Chanyeol knew this. What he didn’t know, however, was if Baekhyun was being selfish in wanting Chanyeol not to forget him, or if he actually missed Chanyeol.

 

One day he sent a picture of a ferret through the window of a pet store. Chanyeol couldn’t help but smile fondly at the picture before returning to work. Joonmyeon had been extra nice to him recently, he’d deduced that Chanyeol was going through personal issues. Yet, Chanyeol poured himself into work more than ever. He took the promotion and was finally actually engineering things, and not simply as an assistant to the assistant. He felt pretty accomplished, despite the hollow feeling in his chest of not having that special person to share his joy with.

Instead, Chanyeol joined his colleges in their after work gatherings. He didn’t necessarily have a reason to rush back home anymore, and the distraction they provided was more than welcomed. He felt like a part of the office now, and not just the awkward guy in the corner.

Chanyeol also began to meet up with Kris at the bar around the corner. They went out other times too, much to Kyungsoo’s dismay. Both Kyungsoo and Jongin knew full well who Kris used to be to Chanyeol, but they didn’t say anything to his face.

What Chanyeol neglected to tell them was that Kris was dating someone else, quite seriously in fact. But Kris was always one of his most supportive friends, even after the break up and he was slowly helping Chanyeol heal. They rarely spoke directly about Baekhyun, instead Kris provided the encouragement Chanyeol needed to keep himself busy, away from the doubts that invaded his mind when he was left alone.

_‘It’s time to be your own person,’_ Kris had told him on one particularly difficult night. “You’ll figure out where you stand when he comes back, but what’s more important right now is you rediscovering how to live for yourself.”

 

Pizza Friday’s picked back up about three weeks after the break-up. It was now a party of three, with Kyungsoo and Jongin attached at the hip. Chanyeol would listen to Kyungsoo bicker at Jongin and Jongin’s failed attempts to sass back (but who was he kidding, he was so whipped). Much like when with Kris, Baekhyun was never brought up. No one thought it fair to Chanyeol when they could see all the effort he was putting in to continuing with his own life.

 

 

—————---------

 

 

 

When it was official that Baekhyun was leaving for Paris in a month, Chanyeol knew it was time to sit down and discuss what this meant for them, even though he already had a pretty good idea.

They returned to the coffee shop they frequented ever since Chanyeol had blurted out his love for Baekhyun all those years ago. The conversation was flowing normally, but Chanyeol needed to take the plunge. He needed the confirmation, that was all. He didn’t have too may doubts, after all. He trusted Baekhyun felt the same away about him.

When the conversation lulled for a second, he took his chance. While they were silently playing footsies under the table, Chanyeol spoke up.

“So, Baek, I know you’re leaving in a month,” Baekhyun looked up curiously, “and I just want to know….. what that means for us?”

To Chanyeol’s horror, Baekhyun started laughing. Right across the table from him.

“You’re so dumb sometimes Chanyeol,” was all he managed to get out in between barks of laughter.

“I’m…. kind of confused here Baek.”

“Dumb. Dumb. _Dumb_. God, I love you.” Baekhyun reached for his hand.

Chanyeol stared.

“Of course we’re staying together.” Baekhyun spoke with confidence, “This is, of course, if you’re willing to do long distance for six months?” Although Baekhyun was using his most confident tone, Chanyeol could see the hint of concern in his eyes.

Now it was Chanyeol’s turn to laugh, although not quite as boisterously as Baekhyun. He merely chuckled lightly and took hold of Baekhyun’s other hand.

“Of course, Baekhyun. This sounds really cheesy, I know, but I’d do anything to keep you.”

Baekhyun smiled like he had just been given the world. His eyes were soft as they focused on Chanyeol before he looked down at their interwoven fingers.

“It might be hard,” he said softly, “but I know we can do it.”

“I know we can too, Baek. As long as we both try and remember to appreciate what we can have while you’re away. We’re gonna be okay.”

“You promise?”

“I swear on the couch.” Chanyeol said lightly before leaning across the table and sealing the deal with a light kiss.

 

 

———————----------

 

 

The week of Baekhyun’s return, or supposed return, the picture messages stopped.

 

 

The night before Baekhyun’s arrival, Chanyeol awoke to the ding of a message from Baekhyun.

He took a moment before opening it.

There, on the screen was a picture of the desk space that Baekhyun had showed him the first time he had given Chanyeol a tour of his small room. However, the computer was resting on the desk this time around. Behind it, Chanyeol could see one photo pinned to the wall. He didn’t need to zoom in on the picture to recognize it immediately. There was the photo he had given Baekhyun almost two years ago of his younger self, chubby with his pet ferret.

Remembering he had been able to see the rest of the room every time they skyped, he knew that Baekhyun hadn’t attempted to decorate the space at all. His heart did a weird flip flop knowing that that was the only image Baekhyun had decided to pin to the wall.

Caught up in a weird surge of emotions, Chanyeol almost had the shit scared out of him when another message tone dinged and the phone vibrated in his hand. It was another text from Baekhyun.

 

**From: ByunBaek**  
Tomorrow. 2:20 pm. Korean Air Flight 908.  
I miss you and I’m sorry.

 

As Chanyeol stared at the message, his heart continued to beat erratically. After some time, he set the phone back on his night stand. He laid there half awake for the remainder of the night, wondering exactly what he was going to do.

 

The next morning, Chanyeol woke up to the smell of breakfast. Kyungsoo had stayed the night (again) and he always made sure to cook breakfast for all three of them. He said it was an attempt to make amends for the couch incident(s), but really he just didn’t trust either Jongin or Chanyeol in the kitchen.

Chanyeol made his way to the kitchen at the same time Jongin emerged from the shower.

“Smells great, Soo,” he said softly as he crept up behind Kyungsoo at the stove, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy’s waist.

“Get off me, Jongin. I’m busy cooking your breakfast.” Kyungsoo snapped playfully.

Jongin chuckled to himself as he took a seat next to Chanyeol at the small table. Chanyeol felt those familiar pings of envy in seeing the new couple act so seemingly domestic.

After all the food had been served, Kyungsoo cleared his throat. Chanyeol knew what was coming.

“So…. Baekhyun gets back today,” Kyungsoo said as conversationally as possible.

Silence followed. Chanyeol pretended to be distracted by a lone piece of egg he couldn’t manage to get on his fork. He knew both Jongin and Kyungsoo were watching him intently, waiting for a response, but he had nothing to give them.

As Kyungsoo cleaned up the plates, he shot Jongin an instructive glance. Jongin immediately responded by excusing himself to get ready, leaving Chanyeol and Kyungsoo alone in the kitchen. Chanyeol attempted to excuse himself as well, but Kyungsoo stopped him with a gentle hand to his shoulder.

“I’m not going to pick him up. I know I’m not who he wants to see there.” Kyungsoo said quietly. “I don’t know everything that happened between you two these past few months. But….If you’re done, then you’re done. I get it, and he’ll understand…. eventually. But I know you’re not over him. I can tell. No matter how much you distract yourself, you miss him. He misses you.”

Chanyeol averted his eyes from Kyungsoo’s commanding stare (those huge eyes were terrifying), and instead studied the wood grain in the table.

“This is your chance,” Kyungsoo said before he quietly left the room.

 

 

Noon and Chanyeol was in his room, staring at the wall. Kyungsoo and Jongin camped out in the dining room, waiting for him to make a move.

 

At one thirty, Chanyeol abruptly opened his door sending it banging into the wall as it swung, startling Kyungsoo and Jongin upright. He gave them a nod before heading for the door, jacket slung over his arm.

“Where are you going man?” Jongin asked playfully.

“Out.”

 

According to the screens, Baekhyun’s plane had landed fifteen minutes ago. However, he couldn’t bring himself to go stand at the arrivals gate with all the other excited families. Chanyeol had a lot on his mind, to say the least. Yes, he was still upset with Baekhyun. But did he still love him? Of course he did.

Well, he loved the old Baekhyun. The one who lounged around all day with him and participated in his horror film marathons. The one who got a little too drunk at karaoke every time but sang SNSD with so much joy that Chanyeol couldn’t complain about the song choice (and he definitely couldn’t complain about how frisky alcohol always made Baekhyun).

But the Baekhyun he had seen digitally for the past few months wasn’t that Baekhyun. Sure there were semblances of Baekhyun somewhere in there, but he wasn’t the Baekhyun who loved Chanyeol above everything else.

Overwhelmed by his own thoughts, Chanyeol leaned against the nearest wall. From his vantage point he could see the arrivals hallway, but he was not a part of the crowd. When passengers began passing through, seeking out their relatives and embracing one another, Chanyeol watched intently. He wished Baekhyun still had his signature blond hair, as it would have made him easier to spot in the crowd.

Chanyeol’s eyes were flitting wildly scanning the crowd hoping not to miss Baekhyun. Even if he wasn’t decided on approaching him, he wanted to see that he arrived safely. That he was back. It was then he saw a petite figure stop at the front of the arrivals gate, a figure he would never mistake as anyone else’s. He was wearing all black, pulling a small carry-on suit case behind him with one also slung over his shoulder and he was alone.

Chanyeol watched as Baekhyun paused and allowed his eyes to look up from the tiled floor to search the crowd. Chanyeol hid himself slightly behind the nearest pillar, looking on. There was a glint of hope in Baekhyun’s eyes that quickly disappeared as he didn’t find what he was looking for.

Once Baekhyun had scanned the crowd, he shook his head mockingly, as if chastising himself for having hope in the first place. Chanyeol’s heart hurt watching Baekhyun’s disappointment.

So he pulled out his phone.

 

**To: ByunBaek**  
Did you find what you were looking for?

 

He pressed send and waited until he saw Baekhyun receive the message, trailing behind him at a distance so as to not be seen easily. Almost immediately Baekhyun pulled out his phone, reading the message quickly and then looking around once again a little more hopefully.

Chanyeol felt like he was standing on the edge of a train platform, he could lean forward, reveal himself, or he could fall back in the crowd. Ultimately, the butterflies in his stomach pushed him forward as he showed himself to Baekhyun.

He watched as relief flooded Baekhyun’s face, who began to make his way towards the taller. He was taking tentative steps, as if me might scare him off, never taking his eyes off Chanyeol. Almost as if he was scared that if he blinked, Chanyeol would disappear.

When he finally got close enough to be heard, Baekhyun spoke softly, “I don’t know how I lost it in the first place.”

He was now directly in front of Chanyeol, nearly toe to toe. Chanyeol was frozen on the spot as he took in Baekhyun. The black hair was a little off-putting, but his face was exactly as he remembered it: small but adorable eyes, little nose and the most lovely lips with the small beauty mark right above his mouth.

They stood in silence, looking each other up and down before Baekhyun shyly smiled up at Chanyeol, who couldn’t help but reciprocate.

The air was heavy with tension and apprehension. Chanyeol knew it was his turn to speak, his chance.

“Not to ruin the moment or anything but, are we talking about you ‘finding yourself’ here, or finding me?”

Baekhyun giggled, and it was music to Chanyeol’s ears, “They’re one in the same, Chanyeol. Didn’t you know?”

At this, Baekhyun set down his carry-on, opting to reach for Chanyeol’s hands, which were willingly given.

“Chanyeol, I’m… so sorry. For everything. Everything…. you were right. I don’t know what was going through my head, but I never stopped loving you…. I couldn’t if I wanted to. I’m just… so very _sorry_ , Chanyeol.” He was crying at this point, “I just want us back to the way we were. Two months without talking to you was hell, Chanyeol! With you, it was _never_ boring, it was perfect. I want to come home to you, on that stupid couch, despite whatever Kyungsoo and Jongin did to it.”

Baekhyun took in a giant breath before continuing, in a much quieter voice, “I just want to be with you….. of course, if you’ll still have me?”

It wasn’t a perfect explanation, Chanyeol knew that. But in that moment, it was the perfect apology.

Baekhyun was still looking up at Chanyeol hopefully, when Chanyeol removed his hands from Baekhyun’s grip. He watched Baekhyun’s face fall in resigned disappointment.

That was until Chanyeol used his free hands to cradle Baekhyun’s face, wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

Chanyeol began to lean in, not missing how Baekhyun’s breath hitched. He moved until his mouth was within centimeters of Baekhyun’s ear, smiling as he whispered.

_“Just you. Me. And that stupid couch.”_  


* * *

**Author's Note:**

> So obviously, this story was actually about a tacky leather couch. (I plan on writing an epilogue in the couch's POV.)
> 
> Actually, I wrote this story for a friend. Starting waaay back in October. She was going through the woes of a long distance relaitonship at the time, and I promised her a happy ending with kpop characters as a proxy.
> 
> I ignored it for some time and then recently decided to just finish it.  
> Also, sorry for my failed humor, and everything else really.


End file.
